Padme's Sorrows
by Maxima Ride
Summary: The story told by Padme


Padme's Sorrows

Anakin. My love. Dead. What Happened to the little boy who used to race ? Or the Padawan trying to figure out if his feelings for me were okay?

I blame myself. I should never have agreed to marry him. His premonitions about me dying pushed him to the Dark Side. He killed himself trying to save me.

No. Anakin's body is not dead. But the mindset of being Anakin has been killed by Darth Vader. My Anakin is dead.

I don't blame him for killing me. He didn't kill my body. But when he went and killed all the younglings it broke my heart. When he tried to kill me and Obi-Wan I simply lost the will to live.

CH. 2 MY CHILDREN

Watching your children grow up from afar is hard enough when you're alive. Harder when your dead.

Leia. Despite the fact that she was made a princess she's so tough and brave, a total badass. Perfect from disguising her feelings.

And Luke. He reminds me of his father. He's a wonderful Jedi. Even if he's still a padawan. I wish Anakin were here to train him instead. To teach him himself

Not that Obi-Wan and Yoda weren't great Masters…

I wish we were still alive to raise them ourselves. I keep wishing, but wishes get us nowhere….

CH. 3 Steps over the edge

The edge, the footsteps to get there. The first step Ani took over to the Dark Side was when his mother died, and when he killed all the people that killed her.

The second was when he had the premonition of me dying during child-birth. The third was when Master Yoda told him to let go of me. So my death wouldn't bother him.  
The fourth was when Chancellor Palpatine told him about the Sith Lord who could save people from dying. He fell when he became Palpatine's apprentice.

CH 4 HIS DREAMS

Yes, the horrible Vader has dreams. I haunt them, they're always the same. He's watching Obi-Wan train Luke, and helping out every time he can. He still wants a family, he wants it back more than anything. Then I walk in his dreams. "You're going down a path I can't follow!" I sob. Then Obi-Wan pulls his lightsaber on Anakin, and they duel. I continue sobbing because I say those things for a purpose. To tell him that I still love him and that, even though I'm dead, we can't be together unless he turns around.

But he doesn't get it. He never ever has. Since he got put into his suit and helmet he's had that dream. For nine-teen years. Yet he still never gets it. I can cry, I can wish, but none of that will do any good if Anakin doesn't get over himself and forgets the past.

I am dead. And no Sith tricks he learns can bring me back.

CH 5 BONDING?

He has Luke and Leia on his ship. I am almost afraid of what he'll do, his heavy breathing is obviously making Luke nervous.

He knows. He knows that his father is standing in front of him. "Lord" Vader told him right after he cut his arm off. I wailed extra specially loud that night.

Leia doesn't. She's glaring at him with the hate of the world in her eyes. Because he's just sealed the person she loves in a block of frozen carbon sold him to a bounty hunter.

Anakin breaths slowly. "What do you want Vader?" Leia asks defiantly, tired of waiting. Anakin looks at his heavy black boots, "That's no way to talk to your father." He said slowly, carefully. Shock registered on her face for a second. But only a second. Then she growls, "What is that? Some kind of mind trick to make us talk about the rebellion?" He shook his head, "No. It's a fact, I am your father. Denying it won't change that fact at all. I am your father and you two are my children."

Now Luke was gaping too, "WHAT? She's my… we're… omigod we KISSED!" he screamed. Leia was still glaring at Vader. "If you're my father." She said carefully, "then take off your mask. For me."

CH 6 Taking off the mask

Vader stared at her. The room was silent except for his and Luke's ragged breathing. Then he nodded, and Leia's eye's widened in pure shock. He slowly lifted the helmet off his head. His skin that had once been a tan color had been peeled, charred, and turned bright red from the flames that had charred his body.

Leia gave a whimper of fear, and Luke seemed more fascinated by that than Anakin's face. 'Oh Anakin' I sighed. All three of their heads whipped up and they gasped with surprise. "Padme?" Anakin whispered. My spirit reared in shock, they'd heard me? "Anakin!" I yelled. He turned and faced the spot that my spirit was resting at.

I gripped the necklace he'd given me when he was a child, I gripped it forever. He stared, "You still have it?" he saw me too?

"What is this?" Leia asked, over her fascination with her father's burned face. They saw me. I was more happy than I had ever been since I died.

CH 7 Meeting Mom

"Oh! Leia!" I cried happily. Instead of turning to me she remained staring at Vader "Who is she supposed to be?" Without turning from me he said, "She is your mother. Say hello."

Leia scoffed and turned away from me. That stung my heart. My spirit. I faded, I saw Anakin's face turn fearful.


End file.
